I hate your face
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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