Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
