she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He felt like a one man threesome
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
