I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
His nipple licking is glorious
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