Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
