turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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