Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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