so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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