I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Let's paint friendship bongs
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
