Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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