It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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