take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I have fence marks all over my body
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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