I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
