Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
