I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
