hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
