It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
