nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
