i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
