Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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