I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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