He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
