just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Randomize
