whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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