He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
