You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
