I could make wine with my vomit
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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