for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
