I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
