I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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