can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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