I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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