So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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