I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize