So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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