Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
