Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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