after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I cut my penus on the lid.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
