I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
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