I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
