At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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