I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm always down for nudity.
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