Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
