Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
