I will die if light touches me.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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