Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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