I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
