Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
