I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
