You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
