Dual....:-)
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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