Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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