he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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