so that wasnt chicken after all
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
